An Average Life Well Lived

mom and marilyn

It must have been Christmas 1984 when this photo was taken. A memory from long ago. Feel free to laugh and mock the clothing, but especially the couch! Holy Cow! What were we thinking?

The lady in the middle is my Aunt Marilyn. Well, she is not my aunt by marriage or blood. She was a good friend of the family. My mother and Marilyn graduated together and she just became a part of our life. She was there in my earliest of memories.

This week I discovered that my aunt passed away of a heart attack. Aunt Marilyn had moved to Arizona many years ago, but we still kept in touch. We exchanged Christmas cards and I talked to her on the phone maybe once a year. But her passing brought up so many old memories.

My sister and I would visit her apartment with my mom. Aunt Marilyn had a multitude of music boxes. I don’t know how many she actually had but as a child, it seemed like hundreds. She had music boxes that had moving parts, some that would spin, and some that stood still. She had one music box that played the song, “Singing in the Rain” or maybe it was “New York, New York”. My sister and I would take them off the bookshelves and wind them all up at the same time. I look back and think how maddening that must have been to listen to all those boxes playing different songs at the same time. But then she would have us dust her bookshelves. Hmm, it must have been her method to our madness.

Aunt Marilyn had a lot of music boxes. And she had the biggest cats I have ever seen! Her cat, Max, must have been 20 lbs. Not kidding! I’m sure I have a photo somewhere. And she sold Avon on the side. Avon was the first “side hustle” gig for women. Make-up, perfume, costume jewelry, etc. We loved when she would bring the new catalogs around. My sister and I would mark up the book circling all the lip balm and kids’ stuff.

After Aunt Marilyn moved to Arizona, she found God in a deeper way. She was involved in her church. She attended Bible study and she was faithful to participate in Angel Tree every year. Since Aunt Marilyn didn’t have any children, she “adopted” many kids at Christmas. All of her nieces and nephews, my children, and several underprivileged children received gifts each year. Once her nieces, nephews, and my children were grown she stopped buying gifts for them. And she increased her giving to the less fortunate.

Now that I am looking back on my childhood, I realize that Aunt Marilyn wasn’t the “cool” aunt. She wasn’t the “un-cool” aunt. She was there in our lives living it with us and making generic memories. But they were good memories. And her passing leaves a hole.

Sometimes I think I’m a little like Aunt Marilyn. I’m not the cool aunt. Hopefully not the un-cool aunt either. But I’m there…making memories. Aunt Marilyn reminds me that even the average person who lives the average life matters. And we don’t have to be amazing to matter either. She mattered to the time and season she was here on the earth. She mattered to the people in her life. She mattered enough for Jesus to sacrifice His life for her. And she mattered enough for God to draw her unto Him.

Here’s to my aunt. An average person who lived an average life, but still left an imprint on the world for all eternity. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you and grant you peace.

See you on the other side of glory, Aunt Marilyn.

[Recommended Reading]

A Life Well Lived – Swindoll 


40 Days of Prayer


We can pray here or there. We can pray anywhere.

We worship a God who is not bound by time, space, or WiFi. Thank you, God!

We are in the middle of 40 days of prayer. Our resource is a book of prayers by Max Lucado called, Pocket Prayers. Here is the prayer from Day 26:

Heavenly Father, your love and acceptance don’t stop. You are the well of grace and love that I must draw from daily. Help me today to love those who are hard for me to love. Humble me in their presence and show me a side of them I’ve been too prideful to see. Be with those people and protect them. Whatever past pain or hurt is causing them to lash out, bring it to the surface and heal them. Thank you for your redemptive nature and your ability to break down walls among your children. Through Christ, I pray, Amen.

Take a moment today and pray this prayer. Pray it for yourself and someone you care about. Then pray it for someone you don’t like or struggle to like. You might find grace and peace on the other side of those words.


Dear Person Who Thinks All I do is Read the Bible and Drink Coffee…


For ten years I photographed weddings. Then I became a minister. These two vocations make my working years look like book ends with me standing at both the front and the rear of the chapel.

When people hear that I have been a wedding photographer and a minister they summarize my work experience as “one who is able to take pictures, read the Bible, and drink coffee”.


They might as well tell me that I know nothing about life or people or real work.

As a wedding photographer, I dealt with a myriad of personalities each Friday and Saturday. Many times I had never met the bridal couple or attendants until I walked through the door.

I would arrive at the bride’s home and, within five minutes, I would have memorized 15-20 people’s names. I then needed to juggle the demands and personalities of those 15-20 people over the next 8-10 hours while still doing my “job”. In addition, most of them had started drinking by 9 A.M.


Over the years, I had many experiences of juggling those personalities alongside my photographer duties. As a photographer, I was also the wedding coordinator, problem solver, anxiety calmer, and only rational thinking person there. I pinned boutonnieres, straighten ties, and fluffed dresses while simultaneously looking for the best lighting in the room.

I had groomsmen moon me, bridesmaids pass out in the bathroom before the bridal dance, and cakes collapse. I photographed Christian weddings, Jewish weddings, atheist weddings and Gothic weddings. I also photographed two arranged marriages and a mail order bride wedding (not kidding)!

I dealt with angry, drunk people. Happy drunk people. And a few sober ones. I had wedding parties that hugged everyone including me. And I had in-laws that wouldn’t be in the same room which, of course, made those group photos loads of fun!

wedding window

Then, one day, I was standing at the front of the chapel officiating the wedding instead of photographing it. Pastors do more than officiating weddings though. But some people seem to believe we do little more than preach sermons, teach bible study, and drink coffee.

Although I confess, I do drink a lot of coffee!

coffee 3

As a pastor, I do preach and teach the Bible which means I also need to read it. However, there’s also the people element involved that your average Joe never considers about your job.

I have had church members yell at me over light fixtures, coffee pots, and toilet paper. I have counseled people about marriage, divorce, and children. And I have cleaned toilets, shoveled walkways, and replaced smoke detector batteries.

coffee calm

I have sat with people as they have walked through some of their best days and some of their worst days. I’ve been with them after they were told about cancer, learned their loved one was dead or were served divorce papers.

I’ve counseled people on the verge of divorce, people grieving their infertility, and people wrestling with how to tell their family they were gay. I’ve helped people file for food stamps, give their child up for adoption, and turn themselves over to the police.

I have visited jails and prisons. I have fed the homeless in Brightmoore and Cass Corridor. And I’ve kissed newborn babies.


Someone asked me recently how a friend would describe me and what I do. I told them my friends would say I was deliberative and idealistic. The person thought I was overthinking it.

But now that I have had time to think about it…

My friend would say that, despite all the ugliness I have seen in this world, I’m still an idealist who believes people matter to God. And I drink a lot of coffee!